I start the interview with your typical, albeit boring, background questions – how old were you when you started filming and what do you remember about your first scene? She answers less than enthusiastically, “I was 18, and uhm what do you mean? I remember everything about it I guess.” I ask her how she felt afterwards wanting to go deeper. “I remember thinking “wow, that’s crazy, I can’t believe I just did that.” I was super shocked, but it was really fun and I just wanted to do it again. For a second I was like “Oh my God, everyone’s going to see this” and was kind of freaking out about it, but I didn’t really care because I actually loved it.” I’m a little nervous, but in an attempt to give her a good question I ask her what her friends and family think about her profession. There’s a slight pause, maybe even a snide laugh, and she says “I mean, this is so hard for me to even answer, because I feel like I’ve answered these questions so many times. It’s just repetitive for me. I don’t feel like talking about this stuff honestly. I’ve done a million interviews where they asked me the same questions.”
Everyone wants to ask the porn star how her family feels, but why? I feel instant shame and regret. After fumbling out an apology and telling her that she is in fact one of my personal favorites, I ask her where she wants to start. Does she want to talk about porn? Is she over it? How does she feel about her industry? For a second she doesn’t know where to start, but soon she says “I haven’t shot a scene since the pandemic began, but as a whole, I’ll always stand by everyone in the adult industry. I feel like it’s always really inclusive and we have to deal with a lot of social stigma that comes from being in the industry, so we are all really strong. We have to put up with a lot of judgment. Hopefully, overtime, people are more accepting and just see us as human beings. That’s what we are. We don’t deserve to be looked at as less than because of our career choice.”
It’s hard to hear the struggle that Abella and her peers go through on the regular, all because of their day job. What should be seen as a healthy, educational, and safe experience for the viewer is marketed as a dirty, underhanded victimization of women. The common narrative? The female porn star is either a victim of men and performing against her own will, or a victim of her lack of self-worth. It’s easy to target the adult industry, and if we go one step further, it’s almost rational. With alarming statistics like 81% of women have experienced sexual harassment in their lifetime, 1/5 of American adults have been sexually harassed at work, and 45% of EEOC’s harassment claims have been sex-based, the adult industry seems like the prime breeding ground for that kind of over-sexualization and misconduct. However, sexual misconduct can happen in any industry. The biggest differentiator is that harassment doesn’t stop at the workplace for these performers. Constant fan harassment of female stars, negative reactions from family and friends, and complete strangers inundating their DM’s with insults is the very real reality that most of them share. Even when on set misconduct does happen, the most common response is usually along the lines of blame for the victim. Its “their fault” that they’ve chosen this line of work. It should be expected.
Instead of placing blame on adult performers, like Abella, us viewers should be taking accountability. “I think porn is so empowering. I can understand why people might think it’s anti-feminist, but I don’t agree. We, porn stars, do whatever we want. We’re taking control of our bodies and doing whatever we want with them. I don’t get why people always try to play us like we’re victims when we’re so in control.” In the year 2021, we have access to so many ethical studios that ensure proper treatment, pay, and handling of talent. By doing so, more performers are able to feel in control, and confident in their day to day. When I ask Abella about her personal experience with misconduct in the workplace, it’s clear that she has already put in the effort to work with ethical studios. She says “The thing is that there’s a script. Yes, there have been scripts I didn’t want to do. I remember once they wanted me to be picking up my boyfriend from jail and then start stealing with guns, and I said I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to be portrayed as a thief, so they changed the script. They changed it because if I don’t want to work with them, they know I’ll just go somewhere else. They’ll try to push the script they want, but ultimately if it’s not what I want, they’ll change it.”
